


The Things We Say

by opti



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Angst, Crying, Domestic Fluff, Drunken Flirting, F/M, Ficlet Collection, Fluff, Trans Character, Transgender!April, adoration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 10:07:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3606207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/opti/pseuds/opti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The things we say can take hold, they can affect us, and they can mean everything even when they seem so insignificant.</p><p>Taken from a series of ficlets written for Tumblr "Things You Said..." Ask Meme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Things you said too quietly

**Author's Note:**

> These were submitted a while back on my [tumblr](http://anotheropti.tumblr.com) as part of an ask meme/drabble meme. I thought I'd post them on here since fewer people read that than my fics here!

**2:00 AM**

April should’ve known better, really. She should’ve known better, and she keeps telling herself that as she stomps out of the bar she managed to sneak into. She only did it so she could see his stupid  _fucking band_.

Just to ask him to have a stupid drink with her like an actual human being.

**1:54 AM**

Andy catches sight of her in the crowd and his hands stop working for a second. The chord change gets flubbed up, and it’s because she’s got that little smile. Her mouth moves like she’s saying something, and then she’s louder and shouting but he can’t make out a word. Over the blasting of the amps behind him, it’s all nonsense.

He shakes his head at her, aware that everyone else in the bar is watching the two of them. He’ll have to talk to her later.


	2. Things you said when you were crying

"I don’t think I can do this," April’s voice is somehow smaller than ever.

"What?" is all he can ask her, hoping that she’ll stop doing this.

Seconds. Minutes. Hours. All of them are melting together into a pool of April’s tears, and Andy has no idea what to do. He’s  _never_ seen her like this before. He heard about Ron’s explosion in his office at her - hell, she scheduled  _a lot_ of meetings - but this was… different. She went to him and followed him to the parking lot, asking if she could bum a ride to her house. 

He gladly gives her a ride but then she doesn’t get out of the car. She stops for a second, looks at him with that _tiny_ look - it’s almost like she’s not even there for a second, her; April - and then her composure breaks.

"I’m… I screwed up  _real bad_ Andy,” she mumbles and Andy realizes she’s holding his hand and squeezing.

Before he can say a word, April looks down and sniffs loudly. A sharp, almost yelping noise comes out of her and she hurriedly runs inside of her house. The car doom slams almost noiselessly.


	3. Things you said when you were scared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Related to the "Her" timeline from No One Like You. Before a surgery, potentially April's SRS.

The whole of the time they wait in the lobby, Andy hears that repetitive  _tap tap tap_. April’s foot smacks on the tiles of the floor,  _tap_ , and he tries to ask her if she wants anything -  _tap_ \- but she just smiles at him. They agreed they weren’t anything at the moment, but she holds his hand and never dares to let go.

She’s scared. He’s not that smart, but he knows this much: April’s nervous as hell. He can feel her hand shaking like crazy in his.

"Hey," he speaks up, rolling his thumb over her hand. "Hey, April."

She turns her head as if jerking back to reality. “Huh? Oh… um, sorry,” apologizes needlessly. “What?”

"You’re doing great," Andy doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say so that’s all he can come up with.

"What?" 

"You’re awesome and you’re gonna do awesome," he smiles and squeezes her hand again. "This is awesome, right?"

"Yeah," April says very slowly, almost making the word sound like a novel. There’s maybe too much there for him to realize, just then. "It’s… yeah."

"So, you’ll be okay?" he nods at her. "I mean, I can’t go in there I don’t think-"

"You can’t," she interrupts in a whisper.

"But, you’ll be okay."

"I wish you could come with me," April admits and her breathing gets heavier, Andy notices  _that_.

"I’ll be right out here," he reminds her. 

April smiles. Not a smirk; and not a little, shy thing; and it’s not hidden at all. She openly smiles, but her foot never stops  _tap, tap,_ tapping and her hand still shakes.

"I know you will," she nods. "And I… um, it’s really cool of you. And I, y’know, I never told you but I, uh, I-"

Someone calls her name out. Andy just grins excitedly and April takes a very deep sigh before giving him another smile and walking with a nurse behind a pair of doors. Andy can’t wait for her to be back and tell him what she was trying to say.


	4. Things you said at 1AM

Andy can’t even catch his breath, and his chest and his head are on fire, so he has no idea how April manages to say, shakily, “I love you.”

Everything stops for a moment.

His entire body halts. April just sits on him and looks at him, worried. Like he’s going to say anything but, “I love you, too.”

He means it; and it’s worth it for the beaming smile she has after.


	5. Things you said when you were drunk

"You’re really short," Andy slurs.

Beer chasers are never a great idea. Yet Andy still loves doing it. Especially when you chase beer chasers with beer or maybe whiskey. Either way, he’s stumbling and slurring his way over to April.

"Mhm," she mumbles, her eyes not concentrating on anything. "Sure am."

Any other time it’d be because this  _short_ intern hates everything, now it’s because they snuck out of work with a small portion of Ron’s personal stock.

"I bet you’d… you’ll fit, like, right up on me," Andy smiles dumbly, picturing hugging April and just smushing her in his arms.

April’s eyes gain focus and she snaps up to him. “What?” 

"I mean, like, a hug. Nothing weird," Andy waves his hands quickly, looking at his fridge and hoping there were more beers. "Nothing like… Nothing-"

But before he can do anything else, April darts over to him on the couch. She hugs him and, he was right, she fits so neatly and perfectly (and holy hell she’s warm, except for her hands which are  _fucking freezing_ ) that he hugs her back. 

And then things do get kind of weird.


	6. Things you said when you thought I was asleep

Waking up at four in the morning isn’t always fun stuff. Andy hates it. April does, too, but she just shuts her eyes harder and tries to will herself back to sleep. It used to be  _especially_ bad but now it’s just for nights when he scares himself out of sleep. Andy just sits up, groans, and another, smaller weight hops up next to him on the bed.

"You wanna sleep with mom and dad?" he asks in the most tired voice she might have ever heard from him, and April struggles not to smile.

"Yeah," a little pipsqueak of a voice answers.

April’s supposed to be asleep, so she can’t say anything to him about how it’s okay to be afraid of the dark.

"More monsters?" 

"Mhm," Jack mumbles.

"Just… me and your ma will protect you," the weights shift when Andy says that and she can feel him lay down.

When a warm body sticks itself between the two of them April doesn’t roll over. Instead she just accepts the little, warm hands in fists against her back and Andy snuggling Jack and himself into her. 


	7. Things you said when you thought I was asleep #2

Andy’s so close to falling asleep - with April wrapped around his back, all cozy and snuggled up - right when he hears her phone go off on the coffee table. Continually vibrating on the table, it must be a call. He tries to fall back asleep but then she reaches over him. 

"Hey," she whispers. 

Andy can’t make out what the other person is saying.

"I’ll be there in the morning, don’t worry," she answers sharply, almost hissing. "I don’t have to tell you when I’m coming back, you know. I am twenty-one."

Again, she waits for something. Andy can kind of hear someone speaking loudly, but not the words they’re saying. He tries to fall asleep again - just close his eyes, think of waking up the feeling of April smashed up against him…

"Yeah, I think so mom," she says slowly. "I don’t wanna say anything, though. It… it took a while. I can’t scare him off, y’know?"

It’s really hard to sleep knowing that’s something she’s afraid of.


	8. Things you said through your teeth

April is just getting to enjoy where this conversation is going with Andy - anywhere at all, that is, but especially him talking about bars and her saying that she likes going to bars on dates - when his eyes trail towards something behind her and follow that something all the way into April’s vision.

"Hey, Ann!" he exclaims happily, waving all the while.

She wants to punch him in the mouth, or maybe slap him. Either way, he looks lost in thought when he looks back at April. Lost in thoughts about  _Ann_.

"So, what bars can you even sneak into?" he asks, blindly continuing the conversation with dumb candor.

"Ugh," she mumbles. She shouldn’t be  _seething_ because he’s not dating her, and she’s being really stupid, but he’s also making it seem like he cares about her. “I’m going back to work.”

"Oh," he looks down like he’s the one that gets to be disappointed.

In that second she’s never been more frustrated with anyone. “I hate you,” she clenches her fists as she stands up and hopes that she whispered that through her bit tongue. “I hate you,” she thinks and says maybe a little too loud.


	9. Things you didn't say at all

In awe of a starry night above the Grand Canyon, they lay in front of the car with hands intertwined. The little, white dots sprinkled in the sky aren’t that bad when it’s like this.

Andy squeezes her hand and looks at her, automatically drawing her to match his stare. What she can make out on his face is maybe the closest to admiration she’s ever seen in anyone. Or, rather, she’s never seen anyone look at her like this. It’s not attraction, and not lust, and it’s not even love. 

It’s a searching look, and his thumb moving slower; and it’s his eyes looking so intently at her, and moving his whole body closer to hers. 

They both turn back to looking at the sky, holding hands and wordless.


	10. Things you said when I was crying

She kicks up dropped memos and dirt on her way out of the hospital. Sitting herself down on a curb, crossing her arms over her knees, April hates that stinging feeling in the back of her eyes. It isn’t even that, alone, because Andy’s  _such an idiot_.

And now she’s crying and she has to bury her head in her crossed arms, hiding away from showing herself like this. It’s so stupid that it makes her sniff loudly and smack her forehead against her forearms.

She can hear the pitter patter of bare feet but never looks up. April’s too busy looking at the dark edge of the sidewalk through cloudy eyes.

"Hey," and she jerks her head up to see Andy in a hospital gown.

When she looks at him, and she knows her eyes are red and she’s got little streaks on her face, Andy’s eyebrows tilt and he crouches down. 

"Go away," she pushes his hand away and puts her head back in her knees. "I don’t like you anymore. I hate you."

Andy sighs, but he doesn’t go away. “That’s okay. It’s… um, it’s cool if you hate me,” he says genuinely, although she can detect more than a hint of sadness when he says it. “But, uh, I’m sorry for making you cry.”

"Wow Andy, really mature," she wipes her cheek and shakes her head, looking away from him. "Do you understand how shitty it was to know that I’m  _still_ second for you?”

"You’re not! April, you’re… so cool, and I don’t ever think like that," he sits next to her and she laughs at his gown flapping in a light breeze. "I wanted to-"

"What, make me cry? You’re such an asshole, Andy," she stands up and makes to walk away but she still has things he needs to hear. "I was… I told you stuff. About  _me_. Real things, Andy, and you just; you made me feel like shit for it.”

"I told you about Ann because I wanted you to know that when  _she_ kissed  _me_ ,” he doesn’t move and his shoulders slump, his eyes losing a lot of their brightness, “that I wanted to tell you straight away-“

"What the f-"

"Because you should know, because it didn’t mean anything! Because when she kissed me I didn’t know what to do but when you kissed me I wanted to do it again and again, and never stop!" Andy says it all in one breath. Sighing heavily, April looks away from him and tries to let that little breeze dry her eyes. It doesn’t work. "I don’t want it to mean anything with Ann."

"Okay, so what now? You think this is gonna make me stop hating you?" she sniffs again and looks around quickly, hoping Ann isn’t anywhere around to see her cry. 

"No, but I was hoping that you’d stop crying," he smirks and April shakes her head, completely unamused. "I didn’t want that kiss to mean anything, with Ann obviously. I wanted us kissing to mean something, though."

"It doesn’t, because you’re still an asshole," April turns around and stomps away from him. She hears him say something to her but she can only flip him off behind her back and walk, blindly, to her car.

When she’s sitting with the steering wheel in her hands she lets out a screech. Screaming, crying, all the things April Ludgate doesn’t do. All of them because of that dick, Andy Dwyer.


	11. Things you said with no space between us

Tightly pushed against Andy, her face nearly smashed into a pillow with him behind her and holding hands is all right. Feeling him let his hands constantly refold around hers and move his thumbs, or play at her palms with his fingers? Perfect.

"What d’you think our kid’s gonna be like?" Andy asks, letting one hand go to touch her slightly bulged stomach. 

"Awesome," April mumbles, mostly just tired from her day.

"Yeah?" Andy’s voice shrinks and his hand stops on her. He pulls away like he doesn’t want to feel her anymore. 

"I’m glad I thought about it," she takes his hand that was sitting listlessly on his side and brought it back to her bare, little belly. "I’m glad I thought this through-"

"Oh, sure," he nods and tries to move away from her again.

"Because it gave me time to realize that I really want this, and that our kid is gonna be awesome," she feels him smile into her neck and kisses his hand before setting it back on her stomach.


End file.
